Here are some ways to eliminate the negativity in your life. By changing how you frame things, you can stop the patterns that have been controlling how you think and feel.

1. There is an old saying that says Not my circus, not my monkeys. It is very easy to fall into the pattern of taking what other people say about us personally. If you are given constructive criticism, then learn from that. As for the rest, just remember it says more about them than it does about you.

2. Be free to be yourself. Think back to your childhood: when did you feel most in touch with yourself and your goals and dreams? Write those down. Next, write down the reasons people said you could not do one or more of them, and the ways they made you conform to societal expectations. Now look at those reasons and cross them out. Try to reconnect with those parts of yourself that you buried to fit what you were told you had to be. Remember that other people, no matter how well meaning they may be, do not live your life, only YOU live it.

3. Life will never be perfect, and everyone has struggles. Often it can feel like other people have perfect lives and we are the only one who is going through struggles, but this is not the case. No matter who you are, you will have issues. It is true that some people may have more struggles than others, but all people have imperfect lives. Even with the imperfections though, life can be wonderful and amazing.

4. Show your gratitude. When you focus on the things you are grateful for, you can really eliminate the negativity. It may sound corny, but it really does work. Write down a list of everything you are grateful for, and keep it handy. When you feel negative and down, look at that list and read it out loud. As you get more into the habit of gratitude, you will find more things to add to your list.

5. Mistakes and failures are lessons in life. It can be very easy to feel like life is over when you make a mistake or fail at something. All successful people will tell you they made lots of mistakes. They failed often along the way. The key is they looked at these missteps as lessons to learn from, not as the end of the line. Learn from your mistakes, and keep on moving forward. Get in the habit of thinking of your best teacher being your last failure.

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