Mother’s Guilt: Lauren Riddell: 31st January 2019

I think this will resonate with many other parents when I say… I feel guilty all the time! I have a highly active 8 year old who is at a different sports club 5 nights of the week and an 11 month old who is very mobile, very gorgeous and has a particular interest in plug sockets, sharp edges and finding hidden bottles of zoflora….I love him more than anything else but HE IS EXHAUSTING ME!

I feel guilty that I don’t spend all my day adding food colouring to spaghetti just for it to be flung around and stain the wallpaper, and I feel both terrible and relieved that my 8 year old has given up asking me to make slime with her. I do what I can to spend quality time with them but I work full time too, this is the part I struggle with, admitting that I chose to do something else that doesn’t centre around them. Most of the time I’m exhuasted from work, I swear my daughter thinks I’m about 85 and, at all times, Baby Shark is playing, faintly, from at least 2 rooms in my house.

I barely socialise without my kids any more, any time I do, I just miss them, feel guilty for being without them and I make up some bullshit excuse and make tracks.  “I bet she’s fun at parties”……..you’re right I am…..1st birthday parties.

So now, my “me time” only ever amounts to a quiet cup of tea or a Facebook scroll, but even then… boom…Mummy Guilt, “I should be on that floor with them, rolling about a tuff tray filled with shaving foam and plastic sharks.”

It’s a never ending game of trying to top up my own levels to avoid burn out vs keeping my family happy and being a loving and fun mum.

I wrote this poem today when I managed to get 10 minutes of luke warm tea drinking time. Obviously it was interrupted by his adorable wee face stealing my biscuit and sticking his fingers in my cup.

Mothers Guilt

I really should take you to the pool
Or at least get down on the floor
But right now mummy just wants to sit
For a couple minutes more